It seems there are a lot of misconceptions about psychotherapy and what it entails. Perhaps it’s due to a lingering stigma about the subject of mental illness, leading to ignorance or fear of the therapy process, or perhaps it is the fault of our profession, that we have not accurately shared with people, what they can expect from doing psychotherapy.

Likely, if you are reading this, you are interested in what therapy offers, or perhaps disappointed or confused about what you are getting out of it. Therapists will tell you they use evidence-based interventions to support your healing from mental illness, stress and disorders, but they sometimes neglect to share what steps that process involves, and what steps it does not.

For the purpose of clarity, here are five things not to expect when doing therapy with a registered psychotherapist.

  1. Advice. A therapist will not give you any advice. It is not our role to tell you how to live your life, rather it is our job to support you and trust in you to navigate your own issues. We will provide resources and strategies and interventions to help you, but we cannot do the work of therapy for you. We can challenge you and help to identify distortions in thought or to process emotions, but we cannot impose our expectations for recovery onto you. It is your process, to be done in your way, and in your own time.
  2. Harm. A therapist will not cause you harm, by adding to your suffering with judgement or interventions beyond our scope of practice. We do not re-traumatize people in order to help them heal. Because we are all human, there may be ruptures in the relationship between therapist and client, resulting from a miscommunication or misinterpretation. These issues are inevitable, but can be seen as opportunities to practice healthy relationship building, through the repair of these ruptures with your therapist.
  3. Hoover. A therapist will not “hoover” your emotions, which means they will not suck your energy and make the session about themselves. Indeed the therapist may be triggered by some of your issues or things that happen in session, but your therapist will refrain from bringing their stuff, into your session. They will take their ‘countertransference’ issues to their own therapist for processing. You may find a therapist will disclose some personal information in therapy session, but this will be mindfully done, with intentions to validate your emotions or to support your therapy in some way.
  4. Disclose. A therapist will not disclose your personal health information to anyone, unless you have given permission. There are some circumstances in which your confidentiality could be broken - this would be in the case the therapist’s notes are subpoenaed, or if the therapist believes there is an imminent threat of harm to the client or someone else.
  5. Pressure. A therapist is obligated to provide ongoing consent, which means they will always tell you what you are doing and why. If you are not in agreement with participating in any given strategy or intervention, you can always refuse and revisit your plan. You should not feel pressured or judged in therapy. This is your life and you know it best. A therapist is there to help you in your way and in your time.